In Silence

Did I exaggerate when I said that she turned a curse into a blessing? Well… I do admit that it may sound that way. But for me who me who experienced it all, it’s not an overstatement at all. Our interaction with barely any words exchanged was nothing sophisticated. It was so simple. Yet, felt special.

I never really think about what made it felt like nothing else. But if have to dig into it now, well… I guess it’s because things just happened so naturally.

With her, I didn’t feel like I had to be somebody I’m not. She could say a hello cheerfully which I usually would reply by whispering a hi. Sometimes, I only replied with a smile and she would still look as lively.

She’s not only amiable, she’s also mindful. Sometimes, when she entered the pantry while I was looking out the window, I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. So I didn’t turn my head to look at her and just continue standing on the corner, looking outside. I would think to myself that if she greeted me,┬áthen I was going to have to turn back to her and engage in some small talk out of courtesy. But she didn’t. She would only fill her water bottle in silence.

Sometimes, I was curious so I would focus on her reflection on the window and saw her looking at my direction. Yet, didn’t even say a word. For me, it felt like she could respect the invisible boundaries that I set.

Well… Actually, at first, I was turning back to her. Just like what I always did when I notice someone entered the pantry. She said hello, I smiled, and then, it’s just a total silence. But I couldn’t just go back to look out the window since I thought it would be impolite to turn my back on someone under that circumstance. So I stuck there looking at her. Waiting if she was going to say something. Thinking if I should say something.

And still, there’re no words exchanged between us. It was just her filling her bottle while I was standing on the corner looking at her as if I was observing her. It was somewhat awkward. That’s why after that I chose not to look back when she came into the pantry. We’re not going to talk anyway. That’s what I thought. Who would have thought that it would lead me to feel comfortable being around her?

Well.. there was a time when she breached into my territorial. One morning while I was standing in the corner of the pantry, she showed up out of nowhere and suddenly already stood beside me, looking at the direction I was looking at. The problem is, that time, the one I kept my eyes on was my phone. And suddenly, there was her. Standing beside me, joining in seeing my phone screen. Was she genie in the bottle or something? Showing up out of nowhere like that.

Anyway, it wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. I feel kinda disturbed by someone who’s overly friendly. Just like what she displayed that morning. I don’t know was she a spy, a genie in the bottle, or anything else. What I know is, it was a violation of my privacy. And I wasn’t happy with it. But you know, it was the only time. There was no more of that. I did become more cautious. But I wasn’t the only one who did.

I guess the series of silence interaction between us gradually and unconsciously shaped my perception of her. But it was kinda confusing since she didn’t behave in a straight line. It was confusing, but also intriguing. And the strangest thing is, I kinda enjoyed. No, not kinda. I enjoyed it.

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