Lay It All On Me

So… Another way that won’t work. You know, the most dilemmatic thing about this is, I don’t even know how I should behave. If I carelessly express myself freely when I feel bad, you might think that I’m nagging at you. Sometimes I think that even when I don’t actually talk to you, you could just sniff it that I’m not okay and it doesn’t make you feel good either.

But if I just keep going without letting bad experience affect me, you might think that I don’t take it seriously. That I think this is just a game. That I’m just throwing the dice. That if I’m out of luck, I will just throw it again.

No, no, no. That’s now how it works for me. I’m not a gambler. It’s just.. It’s not easy to make me lose my optimism. Even when the worst thing happened, I always believe that there still a hope that things will get better.

It’s just.. Once I determined to do something, I’m willing to go for the most extended extra miles to make it works. You’re much persistent than I am, I think you understand it better than I do. That it’s more impossible to walk away from the path you’ve chosen rather than to keep going no matter how rocky the road is.

What is it that makes you holding back? Are you afraid? Because inside, I’m  a bit more complicated than I seem outside? Yeah, so do I. Sometimes it’s so terrifying to see how complicated you are inside apart from the smile you always show to the world. We do have something in common. It’s a good thing, isn’t it?

I think we’re not much different. Maybe the biggest difference between us is that because I believe that best way to solve a problem is to communicate everything and being brutally honest if necessary so we can find win – win solution for both parties, while for you, it is to bear with everything by yourself so people you care about don’t have to feel the same burden. But you don’t have to. What do you think you’re doing now? The more you try to ignore me, the more your feeling showed. You don’t have to bear with everything yourself. You can lay it all on me.

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