Someday, Maybe
Hola! Been so long since my last post, isn’t it? No? Well, every single day where I don’t see you feels like a year to go through. The sun fails to shine, and the day feels so long. Yet, the image of you in my mind never gets blurred. Okay, maybe this is off-limit. Just practicing. Maybe I can be another Shakespeare? Or no.
Anyway, I didn’t try to disappear or forget about this site. I just thought that I need some time to sort things out in my mind or I’d blurt more foolish statements, again. Though it’s all only in writing, I don’t want to find a day where I look back and feel like a totally brainless person. I mean, that kind of image doesn’t even need a reinforcement, isn’t it? I’m not sane enough and I have no objection to it. But uh… Let’s not make it too obvious to the world, let alone my world.
So… Missing me? Okay, let’s not talk about feeling right now. I need to keep this as feelingless as possible. But hey, this site wouldn’t even exist if I stay that way and that would be a big loss.
Btw, though I’m some kind of coming back to my hideout at the moment, you never have to worry about me forgetting you. Not worry? Well.. Just act as you do. That is what makes things interesting. So, if ever in the past I acted like it’s not, then I beg your pardon. Sometimes I’m not too good at expressing myself.
Okay, before we go any further, let’s start with something essential. There’s a bit change in the plan. Sometimes a decision needs a revision to make it better, remember? So.. I’ll stay. In case you miss me and wanna know how I’m doing, you know where to find me. No place better than home. And this is the home of my thoughts about you. So I’m not gonna go anywhere.
I think this is going to be a long read, so getting some snacks and a cup of tea will be good. Now, what’s there to talk about? Oh, the recording. Should I just place it here? Well then..
Yeah, I sound like a totally lunatic person, I know. Well.. Sometimes in life, there can be something that can make us feel… on cloud nine.
Okay! Now, I want to talk a bit about something that shouldn’t be talked about. Since it’s a semi-forbidden area, I won’t make it too explicit..
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything that night. The night you implicitly said something. Things that I said, it was meant to be a joke. Just to loosen any tension we might have. I never thought you would really take it seriously, moreover misinterpret it completely. While for the rest that I said after that, well.. that was just me losing my mind. I have no excuse for all those. I cannot even promise that I’ll never repeat acting dumb or crazy again. If it’s is a crime then I’m guilty as charged. But I’m a continuous learner. So you can expect me to be less foolish next time.
What happened that time.. It was a nightmare. I wish it was only a nightmare. I wish I could just pinch myself to get back to the real-life again and continue where I let off, where everything was still so fine. But the harder I pinched, the more it hurt.
Have you ever felt happy yet worried? For years I’ve tried to carefully figure out, what makes you sad, what makes you happy, what kind of person you really are, and what I can do to make things better for you. I wanna be someone who never brings you sadness and can always return your happiness. But now I feel like I’m the source of your problems. And things become exciting, yet scary.
It’s scary, isn’t it? Knowing that someone we care about has a deep feeling toward us, seeing how far they would go for us. And it’s dreadful to think that they’d got hurt because of us. So we’d do anything to prevent it from happening. Even if it’s to watch them walk away without saying goodbye. After all, we can try not to speak what’s inside. But in the end, what we feel toward someone, can always find a way to embody itself, somehow.
I never thought I’d ever find a day where I need to learn how to shut my mouth. I really talked too much, didn’t I? I still cannot comprehend how come I could reveal all the information I’d rather keep unknown in just a fairly short time. Like all my walls of defense were just broken into pieces that I eventually have to send all the inexperienced soldiers to fight on the battlefield and they end up killing each other.
Okay! Now, let’s talk a bit about some quotes. I will start with a set of quotes. Can you relate to any of these?
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No, no, no! Those aren’t what I want to say to you. Just some examples of how feelings can easily change. That’s why I think it’s important to see love not only as a feeling but as a commitment. Feeling changes. Even a strong one can flip like a blue streak. Love is more than your stomach has butterflies. It’s more of your heart has an endless strive. It’s when you put enormous effort to try to understand instead of just thinking you cannot comprehend.
If it’s about what I want to express, then these fit better.
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I think all those don’t need any more explanation. Now, what do you think about this one?
I so agree with it. I always think that emotion itself can effortlessly make our world upside down. So it will be horrible to find someone who makes me feel restless instead of peaceful. Thank God the right one doesn’t actually make things worst. When we meet that one person, even when we’re on our worst day, everything would seem to be okay again. It’s a warmth that soothes our hearts, a light that brightens our day. We wouldn’t feel agitation, we’d feel serenity. Well.. Maybe with a little excitement.
There’s another one that I think you might wanna read.
So.. Young lady, the only one you ever need to compete with is my comfort zones. You’re not competing with any other person. I’m sure for you, others would be easy to defeat. Unfortunately, I’m not. However, actually, I think you won. But there must be something wrong. I normally don’t lose a battle. We need a rematch!
What do you think that quote is all about? To the author, it might be about his fears. But fear is not in my dictionary, so I want to see this from another point of view. No matter how wonderful something is, when it’s too powerful it can be dangerous. A refreshing wind can be a tornado, a spark can burn a forest, and the source of life water can bring a flood. Even love can cause misery.
Yeah.. so today, it’s all about quotes. Do you know why I like quotes? Well.. Some people like it because it helps them justify their thoughts or feelings. I won’t say it doesn’t work that way for me. But I am fond of it for a slightly different reason. It helps me get a better understanding of something by providing another perspective. Offering some insight my mind has yet to notice. Helps me see something from a spot I’ve yet to touch. It’s like talking to someone without being judged. Isn’t it the best type of conversation one could ever wish for?
We haven’t talked for a while and I can’t stop wondering how you’re doing. The weather is quite at war nowadays, sometimes it’s heavy rain, sometimes it’s burning sunshine. Please take care of your health, and don’t catch a cold. In case you need a little warmth..
Btw, you’re not innocent
“… some never manage to recover.” Young lady, please show some responsibility. Well.. I’m pretty good at healing myself, but I don’t mind falling pretty hard once again so you can help me recover.
For the last one, if I’m allowed to be a little selfish, then..
Is that too much to ask? Don’t worry, I’d give more than I get 😉
Anyway, for now, I can only hope. That time will do a good job in helping us put the past in the past. But time, please only take the unpleasant memories away, cause the good ones still have a lot of reasons to stay. Then maybe one day we can start again from the very beginning. And move at any pace you feel comfortable with.
Btw, don’t you know? What do I really want? Well, it’s not really important. I want too much. But what you want, that’s imperative. So be sure about what you really want. You can’t always twist something when you get confused or unsure. How can you expect someone to understand something you can’t even explain? I’d agree with anyone who says that a decision must be made under a cool head. So please take all the time you need to determine.
After all, I feel lucky to be in love with you. Such a pity I’m not the one you wanna share all your good and bad. But if one day you change your mind, you know where to find me. Then maybe we can turn fantasy into reality. Someday, maybe..
I love seeing you happy
I miss seeing that smile
It’s been such a long time
And although I don’t have you
I know now that I need to
And somehow make you mine
And I won’t lie
It’s hard seeing you with him
‘Cause I know he can’t hold you like I can
Someday maybe when we’re old and gray
We could be in love once more
Till then I won’t give my love away
Darling, I’m forever only yours
I remember that love song
I sang every word wrong
But you didn’t mind
No, no
And I’ll admit that I miss you
But only if you do
‘Cause you know that I’m shy
And I can’t lie
It’s hard seeing you with her
‘Cause I know she can’t love you like I can
Someday maybe when we’re old and gray
We could be in love once more
Till then I won’t give my love away
Darling, I’m forever only yours
And my love then what’s for you then
We all got nothing to lose
‘Cause I’m forever only yours (in love once more, once more, once more)
No need to complicate it
The smile is worth the wait, yeah
I’m forever only yours (hey, yeah)
Someday maybe
Someday maybe
Someday maybe I’ll be yours (whoa, baby)
Someday maybe (someday maybe)
Someday maybe (someday maybe)
Someday maybe I’ll be yours (someday maybe I’ll be yours)
Someday maybe when we’re old and gray
We could be in love once more
Till then I won’t give my love away
Darling, I’m forever only yours
And my love then what’s for you then
We all got nothing to lose
‘Cause I’m forever only yours (someday I’ll be yours)
No need to complicate it
The smile is worth the wait, yeah
I’m forever only yours (someday maybe…)
I’m forever only yours (only yours)
(I’m singing now)
I’m forever only yours…
Don’t stop smiling again. When you stop smiling, the sun stops shining for some people. Leaving someone in the darkness, even when you don’t mean to, is a bit harsh, don’t you think so?
At last, I wanna say that most posts written after the tragedy will be sealed soon and this time, the password won’t be about you. Yeah, actually all the protected posts were sealed with something about you. You, your hometown, your parents, your sibling, even your phone number. With some combination, of course. But it’s all about you. This site is all about you. So actually, you shouldn’t feel disheartened or insecure found those posts. With a little effort, you should be able to crack it. But it’s difficult without any clue, isn’t it?
Btw, what’s with your sleeping pattern? It seems to be quite fluctuating. Something bothering you? Or it’s just hard to maintain a healthy habit? Oh come on, what else can rejuvenate you better than a good night’s rest?
