Happiness
Frankly speaking, I still don’t understand. What is happening between us now? Why are you like this? Is it for you? Or is it for me? Is it because you’re too shy or afraid? Or is it because you’re worried that I’m hurting?
It’s not you who give me hope. I just hope by myself. So there’s nothing you can do to cut my hope. I’d rather have hope and got broken rather than have no hope at all. Hope makes us feel alive, don’t you know? In case you still don’t get it right, I’m not waiting for you to accept me. I’m waiting for you to tell me the truth. That’s what I really want right now.
Hmmm.. what was actually happening? I don’t quite remember. Well.. I have a little problem with my memory. I’m not good at remembering unpleasant memories. And I hope so do you. So.. can we start over?
Come to think about what you said… I think I know why we’re impossible. We don’t even trust each other. No kind of relationship will work without trust. Not even friendship.
Btw, do you know? That.. how we respond to someone, most of the time, it doesn’t define the other person, it defines us. So since you always doubt what I said, it makes me wonder, did any of what you said to me is the truth?
Actually, I can still think of a few ways I can do that might help to fix the situation. But I’m afraid if I do it all, you will misunderstand again.
I’ll always be a hand you can always reach out. I will stay no matter what. I’ll be available for you when things get hard. But right now, those are as much as I can offer.
If I keep making efforts, you will think that I still try to be someone special for you. That I’m being pushy about you accepting me. And if you start to respond but I act different, you will think that I play you, again.
Can you see where the problem actually lies? This is a problem of perception. You see things from your point of view while I see things from my point of view. That’s why you can’t believe most of the things I said. And that’s why I keep thinking that you’re so hard to comprehend.
The way you see it, I only do things to get what I want. The way I see it, you don’t even want to do anything to make things right again. That’s why I think communication is important. I’m not really a talker, but I’ll make a big effort if I have to. And for me, this is a moment where I find it necessary to do, more than ever.
Well..we can just continue like this. It’s just.. I’m afraid that we will reach a point where words would really no longer matter, a point of no return. Do you know what’s worse than harsh words? Silence. It’s like telling the other person, “Even if I say something, there’s nothing you can do about it”. Apparently, there are times when silence is not gold.
For years I did all I could to make gestures to ensure you understand that I never turn my back on you. Because I believe that action is more powerful than words. But I don’t think any gesture can be powerful enough to clear the misunderstanding we’re having right now.
Isn’t this funny? That in the end, we reveal our feeling just to make the other person think that we’re playing. This isn’t how I pictured it’d be. I thought you’d be happy. I guess it’s the same for you.
You’re an air element, aren’t you? Maybe that’s why you can blow anything to any direction you want, conveniently. But should you really push me away like this? Will you really let me get burned far away from you? Can’t I just be around you, to keep you warm?
One wish left. You sure you don’t wanna use it? I’m offering that magical thing so that you can use it as you please. Whatever your wish may be, I will try to grant it to the best of my ability. But if you keep skipping the chance, in time, the magic will really vanish. And when it happens, there’s nothing we can do to recall it.
Are you afraid? Because I keep telling praises? Does it make you think that I’m insincere? Or does it burden you? I might adore you like crazy. But I love you completely. For all the good and bad. You’re amazing to me because I love you. I love all your flairs and flaws. And I still love it all even if you don’t feel the same way toward me. I didn’t say I love you to hear it back. I said it to make sure you knew.
I hope you don’t take this wrong. I’m in no way trying to put pressure on you. But staying in a state of confusion is not really my cup of tea. I’d rather get a clear understanding of something or not think about it at all. But I think you know how the second one is not even a choice. Also, I need to get all the facts right before I can make a decision.
I’m sorry if you find this rude, I don’t mean to. But I think I need to make myself clear. Many people don’t know this, but actually, I’m a very frank person. I will either say what’s on my mind or not say anything at all. But whatever I say, I never mean any harm.
So… The truth. That’s all I ever want. If you think I deserve it, I just want you to know, that I’m not here to judge. I’m here to listen. So if you have something to say, please say it, anytime you’re ready.
But please understand, that if it takes too long, I will have to presume, that you really don’t want to say anything. So, how long is too long? Well.. Let’s just be fair here. How long did you willing to wait when it was time for me to reveal myself? Then for me, that long, times two.
We’ve hurt each other with what’s been said. Should we really do it again by letting the words unspoken?
Okay!! Now, it’s time for music. I really like this song. I always like a cheerful song. Especially when the lyric means everything I try to say. So.. enjoy!