Well.. If that’s what you want. You’re the queen. Your wish, my order. Actually, I made a recording this morning that I intended to put here. But I change my mind. I’ll just do writing this time.
I’ve been thinking about what’s really happening for quite some time. Actually, I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks. Yet, it is still an enigma for me. But you seem to be okay now. So, I can stop worrying.
I have a few voice recordings that I wanted to put here because I think those belong to be here. But now that I come to my sense, I don’t think that it’s a good idea.
I have crushed my image completely in your eyes. I cannot do anything more than that. I can’t even explain to myself why I did it all though I kept giving you an explanation. I thought what I said could help make you smile again. But it only made things worse instead of fixing the situation.
Adding the recordings to this website, is definitely not a good idea. Though I really like it. Especially, the one recorded after the last lunch we had. I sound like a totally lunatic person at that time. lol. I tried to get myself composed so many times but failed miserably. I never thought that someone could ever make me feel that way. Make me lose my mind so beautifully. Even just by hearing the recording, a laugh would suddenly appear out of nowhere and my heart would feel so warm. That feeling is really one of a kind.
However, as much as I’m eager to put it here, I also realize that I’ve been so reckless by letting you know about this site. Now, this is no longer a safe place where I can really pour everything freely. I don’t know whether you still visiting or not. But I cannot take that risk.
Right now, I don’t even know what’s really going on. If you know all I think and feel while I have no clue about what’s happening in your mind and heart, that’s not gonna be fair, my lady. That would make me feel so.. defenseless. And that’s not my cup of tea.
So let’s do it as you wish, let the words remain unsaid. I might still write here once in a while. But I will do it as neutral as possible. So, if you wanna know how I really feel, you got to talk to me. Cause the heart will take a long break from this site.
Talking about heart, now that I think about it.. Actually, love is not a feeling. It’s a commitment. Feeling changes. But to stay faithful to your heart, even during hard times, even when you feel broken, it requires a great portion of the commitment.
Maybe that’s why not everyone succeeds at it. Not everyone can stand strong when things go wrong. Most people think that love is about following their heart, while that’s not what it’s all about. When things get rough, the feeling may change. If you just follow your heart, you would only get lost.
So in fact, love is about balance, between the heart and the mind. Of course, we got to be cautious not to let it tangle. Cause many times, most people think emotionally, or, feel rationally. And in the end, they act like they’re a victim of love. Oh come on, love is beautiful. It doesn’t prey for victims. The good thing is, I’m not most people. And I’m sure, so aren’t you.
Well.. Actually, that’s quite obvious. Cause you make me fall for you, with every little thing you do.
Btw, did you see the supermoon this night? People say that this brightest supermoon only happens every 70 years. We might not get a chance to see it again. So I took a picture for you.
Not as magnificent as I thought it’d be. Maybe because I wasn’t in the best location to see it. But do you notice how the light at the right appears like a falling star? Maybe it’s time to make a wish.