I will start adding some of my voice recordings to this website. I like writing. But there’s a little problem with documenting how I feel or think with writing. Sometimes I can start writing a post early in the morning. But then unsure about what to write or got too many things that I want to write, I left it and continue on mid-day. Left it and finish it at night.
In the end, it is still a post about my little panda. But lately, in a day I could go through a series of very different emotions. So, that kind of post would only contain a piece of information from each of the states I went through.
The good thing is, that the post might not be too emotional. But on the other hand, I also think that it’s some kind of the downside. A post that is too neutral might not perfectly express how I feel toward her. She’s the type of person who can make you feel a very strong emotion just by thinking of her. Told you, she’s too amazing for the earth.
Okay, so.. Yesterday, I finally sent her a message. Actually, I wanted to send it a week ago, but I was worried that she would find it disturbing. And I wasn’t so sure about what to say. I mean, every time I said something, seems like it just makes things even more complicated.
I don’t want to make things harder for her, but I’m not sure that it’ll be okay for her if things are still like this. What I wanted to say last week was different from what I actually said yesterday. Actually, it kept changing every day.
Actually, I don’t even know what I need to say. I don’t even know what I did so wrong or how she got hurt so bad because of me. I know I was so thoughtless and I shouldn’t have talked too much. But what else could I do? There was some misunderstanding. Maybe still.. I don’t know.
I recorded something this morning about the last message I sent her. Here we go..
She’s so gorgeous, as always. Seems like I need a handcuff to stop me from trying to press the love button. No, not a handcuff, finger cuff maybe. But really, I cannot even press the love button? Is that really not okay? But it’s there for a reason, isn’t it? If I see your picture, even if there’s no love button, I will create one. But now I can’t even press one that’s already there? This is.. *sigh*
How can I not love you? You’re super gorgeous, inside out. Btw, who’s that man? The one who tried to act so cute but looks so creepy. What’s he doing there? Is he your friend? Workmate? Why is he even working in Manulife?!
Btw, I will try to listen to the voice message I sent her. Will update again later. Ciao for now.