Because I Love You

Though I know you also live this same crazy life, I believe you always have the strength to be the best version of yourself.

It warms my heart knowing that you never lose the power to smile or let anything get in your way.

Such a shame I can’t be the one who can always keep you safe. But don’ worry, I’ve always got your back. Come to me whenever you need help. I’m a hand you can always reach out.

I used to think that one day I’d be tired of keeping my eyes on you. That there’ll be a time when all the feeling will just disappear. Then I can bury all the memories I have of you in the deepest ground of my cold rocky heart. Yet, I keep finding myself trying to get the latest news of you though we haven’t seen each other for quite some time.

Keep worrying if everything goes well in your life. Sometimes, I even think that maybe I could just drop you a message so I can stop wondering if your day still runs as great as ever. Ensuring that you can tackle all the hindrance coming before you. But then it occurred to me that I may only disrupt your peaceful day.

So, instead of continuing in resisting what I feel, I decided to pour it all here. I doubt there will ever be a day when I completely forget how I feel for you. Maybe I just never try hard enough. Maybe I don’t want to. If that ever be the goal, I would have done it years ago.

Here, I’m not trying to preserve the sentimental irrational emotion I have. I’m just trying to be true to myself. And though I will never try to forget how I feel for you. I believe as time goes by, the feeling will evolve.

I may still want to keep you safe. I may still want to do simple stuff to make you smile. I may still want to send you gift so you never forget how lovable you are.

But I will stop crying to myself knowing that you might never feel the same way I do. Stop trying to remove your contact because I hate seeing his face smiling next to you. And start to learning that I should be happy for you. Respect your decision and support things you do may be the best I could do, because I love you.

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